H2G2 Storytime III: From Prussia with Love. Part VII
Created | Updated Jul 23, 2006
"Why were you excommunicated?" Arthur asked.
Sfret looked up to the ceiling and the hole from which the golf-ball had dropped, the light from above made a small patch of light on the floor.
"I'd never seen the stars before...all I wanted to do see the sun rise from below the...err.. the..thing.
"?" said Arthur.
"Horizon?" suggested Anna.
"Yes that's it!" exclaimed Sfret looking excited.
"So why?" said Arthur trying to tease out of Sfret some of the promising information he'd hinted at. It was like trying to get a small child to sit still.
The Guards found me... on the floor near the upper chamber by the door that led.....outside. I remember I couldn't move ..I...I" and Sfret tailed off.
"What? What happened?" asked Anna full of empathy.
"I'd rather not talk about it."
"What were you captured?"
"No I'm ...not well in my head ...I can't."
The others all fell silent
"Mr Vandeveer knows what it is...has a name for it..my...condition. Ag-er-o-f-oo-bee-ah" Sfret said struggling to remember the word.
"It's why he keeps me in here.... I don't like staying in here all the time, I'd love to stretch my legs now and again but he says it's for my own safety. but I couldn't go outside..no. he knows I like it underground. Its where I was brought up - I can't get to sleep without the drip-drip-drip of stalactite formation, it's oddly comforting..
"So why do you stay here?" Arthur asked trying to piece togetehr all the disparate pieces of this man's story.
"I don't have a choice."
Arthur didn't have time to get a follow up question as a sweet smelling pink gass came funnelling down the golf hole.
"Smells like strawberries" Said X as he passed out.
Arthur awoke hanging upside down and the pressure ringing in his ears.
"X?" he cried out.
"I'm right here" said a voice directly behind him. Where are you?"
"Can you move?" Arthur said straining against his own bonds.
"I'm not sure...hang on said X mayeb I can try - woooah!"
The metal table suddenly flipped vertical bringing upright before falling forward, sending X upside down to the floor his faced pressed into the white tiled surface.
"That's a lot better," gasped Arthur, now facing upwards in an identical position that X had been in.
The table suddenly reversed agin, brining X flushed and agitated back round again.
A stainless steel door that from their disadvantageous point of view - neither X nor Arthur had been able to see, slipped noisly open.
Von Trapp walked in "you have meddled in my affairs for the last time Agent men."
Daltmoreby lingered in the background and sniggered next to him loomed over his boss was Sreka.
"Sfret I am sorry to loose your services but your usefulness has expired you can die a swift death along with these fools!"
"Very good Lord Von Trapp." said Sfret radiating an inner calm.
"This room can be hemetically sealed. As you can tell this air vent"; he indicated to Sreka who closed it from the outside and tore the catch off the wall. "no longer works. When we leave we will be locking the door behind us and sealing the bunker shut. I estimate judging by the three of you and the cubic area of this room you will probably have a little under 7 minutes to die. Notice I don't say escape. your failure is inevitable and your doom certain." Von Trapp gloated.
"bu -uuuuu" began X when suddenly he was wheeled round as the table was flipped over and Arthur emerged again on top.
"You're going after that Diamond aren't you Von Trapp?" he spat.
Von Trapp snorted a disdaining riposte."
"Don't let that concern you. Of more immediate worry I should imagine is this fate of your girl."
"Just met her." Arthur bald-faced.
Von Trapp looked over at Daltmooreby
"I am assured that, in your profession, that presents no significant impediment for ... romantic entanglements."
Arthur grimaced.
"The girl comes with us." Von Trapp declared.
Daltmooreby gave Arthur one last hateful look, stepped out of the glare of the white room pressed something on the wall and the door slid home and sealed with a definite and final clunk.
Arthur counted to 10,000 like all spies do and then rotated his hands so that he disloated both his wrists and with a grunt slipped his arms out of the buckles that held him bound to the table. With a flick he snapped them back into place and with a light curse performed the worlds tightest stomach crunch to reach down and begin undoing the screws that held his ankles to the table using a special edge he'd filed onto the housing of his watch for just such an occassion..
When he'd get enough leverage he kicked them off and slipped down off the table and onto the floor. The table was stll carrying the weight of X underneath it so very quickly spun round, catching X a nasty blow on the head and knocking him clean out cold.
"Oh damn" said Arthur. "Sfret?"
"Yes" said Sfret appearing at his left elbow.
Arthur performed the most ungracious and unprofessional double-take ever in his his career.
"but the - how did you? with the?"
"There's a reason Vandaveer hired me to help him brake into the bank - no lock has ver been built that could hold Sfretelanimousopocatepetl The Ninth."
And Arthur turned and the latches that had been holding the monk securely in place were indeed hanging limply open.
Sfret leaned in close aginst the door and began pressing his finger-tips into the flat surface of the metal
"...mmmm yes ...vertail grain.. mmmmm mmmm feels hollow - most likely 4 way mechanism on a central barrel. and he began feel his way into the edges, running his finger up the seal..."mmmm silicon very good - yes yes."
Then as quickly as he'd started, he indicated a spot on the door about a two thirds of the way up the door off-centre to the left - "Mr Agent man."
"Yes" said Arthur
"Kick the door here as hard as you can."
Arthur got as best a run up as he could and planted a boot in the spot Sfret had indicated. Nothing much happened except that Arthur swiftly concluded he may have disolated three toes.
Sheets of pain washing over his fevered brow, Arthur was feeling a bit flustered and was breathing heavily, through all this it dawned on him this was a fundementally stupid thing to do when they were running out of oxygen and in fact the was beginning to feel a bit light-headed wasn't an encouraging sign. Containing his rage he whispered: "We've got...to get out of here....now!"
"Just a moment" said Sfret, with an infinite calm. There was a sound like 'clunk' 'clunk' 'clunk' 'clunk' *ping* as the bearing holding the bolts in place finally sheared off of it's mount, retracting the locking mechanism and releasing the seal.
And with a little effort Sfret pushed the door aside enough for him to squeeze out into the corridor. True to their word the underground base had been abandonned and Sfret stepped out into pitch blackness.
"We must hurry" he urged Arthur, who ran back to the unconscious form of his partner, undid the latches and hefting him on his shoulders ran after Sfret.
Arthur regained a healty oxygen level in his blood and sesed panting.
Heaving his partner onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry Arthur followed Sfret's footsteps through the complex, turning whenever the short sharp scrapes from the monk's footwear indicated a corner.
"They couldn't have gotten far..." said Arthur, walking into the back of Sfret who had apparently stopped.
"There is -" replied Sfret who was looking around, " - a unique lock-down system in operation...."
"Ah!" Sfret padded forwards with excitement and turned a corner.
Arthur listened.
There was a light whistling noise in the distance.
Following, Arthur hit Sfret again.
"Look!" whispered Sfret.
"Where? It'd pitch balck I can't see anything."
"There! Where my finger is pointing."
"I can't see your bloody finger!" hissed Arthur but his eyes caught a small ammount of light in the distance which clicked off.
The whistling continued, now with a rolling noise.
The spy and monk moved forward to where the light had been.
Their heads moved to the left where a long corridor was illuminated.
There were five exits.
The two ran to the middle of the passage.
"Which door is the right one??" Arthur asked looking down the set of openings.
Sfret held up his hand. "Wait for it...."
The corridor's lights blinked out leaving only one passageway that wasn't plunged into darkness.
They followed.
The system continued: Entering a lit room and waiting it switched off before following another lit exit.
Skidding to a stop, the two ducked into an alcove as a black sillohette in overalls, swinging keys, walked away from them, whistling and pulling a mop cart with him. It stopped and looked behind before continuing flicking a switch off. The light went out.
"That's the system?" spat Arthur.
"Yes, what were you expecting?" Sfret answered.
"Well not a janitor! When we we captured and brought down to the cells by Daltmooreby the lair Vandeveer had at the golf-club was quite small - there was none of this - long passageways and certainly no janitors!"
"Your quite perceptive Mr Robinson"
"Famed for it. This can only mean one thing." Arthur ruminated.
"What is that?"
"We were unconscious longer than I thought - they must have moved us to a different location - we could be anywhere!"
"Agreed." said Sfret
"We'll have to follow him hope he leads us to an exit - just be prepared - he may not be friendly." Arthur cautioned.
"Let's go" said Sfret, relishing the excitement - and got smacked by a damp mop in the face for his efforts.
