H2G2 Storytime III: From Prussia with Love. Part XXX

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The Agents' boat gently weaved between ships and barges as they headed into the port in the early morning sun.

As usual they drew a few strange looks.

"Look there", said Arthur, slowing the boat to as look as inconspicuous as you could having just came in from the Atlantic in a speedboat.

Two police boats had converged around what looked like a crash. Bits of wood was scattered on the water's surface.
Not wanting to get too close X held the boat back so it was merely riding the current.

X nudged Arthur who dropped his hand into the water. A bit of the flotsam floated smoothly as it was cradled in Arthur's hand.

"Fort-William's?" X asked.

"Possibly..." Arthur watched police divers come up with shrug. "I doubt he was on it though."



Ody repositioned the pistol on his chest holster. He didn't know why he kept it, he was an archaeologist for heaven's sake. But he often had dreams of shooting some arabian show off who had been flashing his swords around for about half an hour threatening to kill him... these also usually ended up with him carrying some maiden back with him in to the sun set on his horse. Well he had the horse, but the maiden was still unknown to him...

The gun was the only relic he had of his father. Ody found this bitterly ironic. Kind of apt really, that his only remaining connection with his father was a weapon of death.

Something didn't feel right. He looked around. He'd always kind of had a sixth sense that had served him well in life. And now it was throbbing like it had never throbbed before. His horse clearly felt it too because it was throwing its head around, and moving unusually.

He carried on cautiously, with his pursuers just out of range. Soon he was approaching the camp again, back where he felt more comfortable, away from the city...

At the dig site, in a dark and remote corner away from the circle of tents that marked the expeditions focus, a new wall - previously unseen came in to sight. The ambitious digger carried until there was a crack... through the crack was a deep blue glow, and the digger couldn't take his eyes off it. Something had been unleashed from a tomb that had been hidden for years...



Imagine a camel marching past a metaphorical camera, which pulls out to show a busy Moroccan street.

Arthur watched and sighed from the window of a small room before turning and placing the splintered part of Fort-William's boat on a square table next to some unappealing waxen fruit.

He flopped down in the chair and rubbed his forehead then to the shock of X - who was dozing on a collapsable bed - slammed his fist on the table in frustration.

"What do we do?" said Arthur to the room in general. "We've got nothing! Fort-William could have left Casablanca by now and we wouldn't even know it. He probably has. Back on a ship to Gibralter or.. or... something. And we're just sitting here waggling our thumbs."

X looked at his hands and quickly stopped waggling his thumbs embaressed. "We don't even have anything on where Sreka and Daltmooreby took that girl." X unhelpfully pointed out

"We have nothing at all." Arthur sighed heavily. "No wait we haven't got nothing, we've got a bit of wood. Well that's just great isn't it?" mockingly waved the piece of boat in the air.



Ody arrived back at the dig site just in time to see the flurry of excitement and activity draw workers from all across the camp.

He got down off the horse and found one of the junior research assistants.

"Haziz, what's happened?"

"Not sure Ody, follow me"

Ody kept pace with Haziz and over the far side of the camp they found Jamila headfirst down a hole.

Ody bent down, hands on his knees, he flicked up the rim of his Fedora, and addressing Jamilla's ankles asked the obvious question:

"erm... what's going on?"

Jamilla startled at his voice and clambered out of the hole.

"Oh Ody - it's incredible" she said giving him a sandy hug.

"What, what is?"

"Oh, oh, right", wiping the dirt away from her face on her sleeve, "you remember those Hieroglyphs you found on the plinth last month?"

"Yeah, the odd ones. Not in the glyph database"

"yes not in any of the recognised forms..."

Ody peered down into the hole, there was a glimmer, it reminded him of something...

"...Hieratic, Demotic or Coptic."

Still gazing somewhat distractedly over her shoulder at the hole, Ody murmered "uh-huh."

"I set a dig here this morning on a hunch. After you left, I figured the glyphs were not describing star-constellations like in Giza, but local co-ordinates, tracking from the north, to give a location on a map." It's set out a little way away from the rest of the ruins we've found, which makes me think this is a far bigger site than we originally anticipated."

Ody was impressed.

"What on earth is it?"

"I think it's a door or a coverstone more likely, it's probably a sealed entrance into another chamber. What I can't figure though is that light. Balthazzar broke the seal by accident as he dug into the sand to clear it.

"Well then let's get it opened." said Ody.

"Today?" said Jamilla surprised and excited.

"Sure. If that things has been under the sand for all these centuries I want to know what's glowing in there after all this time."

Ody stood upright and looked to the horizon, in a calm whistfulness. Nothing but blue sky and sand dunes as far as the eye could see.

Heaven.



Slepp and Daltmooreby ducked quickly out of sight when they saw the archaeologist turn their way.

"Do you think he saw us?" hissed Daltmooreby.

"No." said Slepp.

"Oh thank goodness." said Daltmooreby patting his heart theatrically.

"At some point here you're going to have to go and talk to him, you know" counselled Slepp a touch unsympathetically.

"I - I ...can't, he'll recognise me. He'll"

Slepp cut him off: "Tell him you’re from the ministry - about the Artefacts they've uncovered or something. Tell them you've been sent to negotiate for the museum. Don't forget, we have to get him to give us the co-ordinates of The Turquoise Moon. Its here somewhere. Mary will be here shortly and if she thinks we've failed..."

He let the statement hang un-defined.

Daltmooreby checked his neck for a noose instinctually, his fingers dragging over light grey stubble.

"You're right, you're right."

"Funny though..." said Slepp idly, picking at an unbent paperclip.

"What is?"

"That your son would be head of archaeology here." there was no trace of lingering suspicion in Slepp's level tone.

"Yes - it is a coincidence isn't it?" said Daltmooreby through semi-gritted teeth stressing the "is".

"I remember when he was a boy, I was...away...a lot; he always said he hated living in London, Berlin, Moscow. Cities just appeal to different people, I guess.

"And the Mother?" said Slepp enquiring.

"HIS MOTHER IS DEAD!" shouted Daltmooreby angrily.

"He'll hear us." hissed Slepp, paniced.

Daltmooreby calmed down - "I'll take first watch - from over there"
indicating a distant dune, "I don't appreciate having my life raked over by an assassin."

"but aren't you?" said Slepp, the voice of all conscience and reason.

"Aren't I what?" growled Daltmooreby

"An Assassin?"

"For my sins." he turned and left.

smiley - space

"msmiley - spaceosmiley - spacetsmiley - spacehsmiley - spaceesmiley - spacersmiley - spacesmiley - spaceismiley - spacessmiley - spacesmiley - spacedsmiley - spaceesmiley - spaceasmiley - spacedsmiley - space!smiley - space!smiley - space" the words came to Ody's mind like a voice on the wind.

He reached for his jacket pocket and the photograph.

Not yet. Work first.

He took his hand away.



Grand High Mage Wizard Zenokryptonvulcanisationfort-william was near to where the agents were located. In the secluded corner of a Kasbah, an ancient fortification from a wealthy tyrant now boasted a McDonalds, a Carphone Warehouse and a Starbucks.

He was preparing to put through a long-distance collect call from a pay phone

"Thank you operator - yes I'll hold."

After a few moments the operator came back.

"The line appears to be inactive sir. There is however a messaging service - would you like me to put through the call anyway?"

"Yes, yes, do it" Fort-William was nervous, The Agents might be on his tail, he had to be fast.

There was a metallic blip that made his ears ring uncomfortably. Finally...

"You have reached the Grand Holy Order of The Dying Pilchard, blessed be thy phone call, please leave your name and charitable donation after the beep."

"It's me!" Hissed fort-William into the receiver." Fort-William..er.. um...zencryptographysomethingorother - is someone there?

The receiver on the other end was picked up. The voice that spoke was leisurely, that is to say old, taking it's time because it had no reason to want to hurry.

"Yeeees. Thiiiiis iiiiiis Theee Graaaand Maaaassteeerrr."

"The Gibraltar Operation has gone a little sour."

"Heh~wheeeeere areee youuuu, noooooow?"

"I'm hiding out in Casablanca. What of Stone Henge is he risen to power yet?"

"Weeee haaaave heeeard nuuuuuuurrrthing."

"and me what can I do?"

"Weeeee heh~xpeeeeeect yoouuuu to dooo youuuuuur duuuuuuuty by thee cuuuuuuuult."

The Grand Master hung up.

He'd be abandoned.

"Curse them!" spat Fort-William. "I'll see that decrepit, wizened, old fool turn on a spit for this treachery!"

Fort-William saw no sense in running. "They will look for me but I will find them first."



X had taking Arthur's place and was pacing back and forth, looking guilty at the fragment of boat on the table.

Arthur was taking the opportunity to nap, he had his elbow draped over his eyes and was just slumped on the bed, more or less, where he had fell.

Arthur didn't stir when there was a knock at the door.

X walked over to it and peered out of the security peephole. Whoever it was, they were studiously examining the cheap Van Gogh print on the wall in just such a fashion as to obscure all of their salient features.

X undid the latch.

Arthur woke suddenly. "X - no!"

X opened the door and Fort-William smiled at him from behind the business end of the gun he was holding.

"Get inside." he gestured with the nozzle "Hands where I can see 'em!"

Arthur stood off the bed, hands raised, X backed towards the wall next to Arthur.

Fort-William pulled out the chair from underneath the table, it clattered across the wooden floorboards with a shuddering thud which to Arthur for all the world sounded like the opening of gallow doors.

He sat down.

and let the gun slip idly from his grasp so that it dangled on his index finger.

"I've come...to seek ASYLUM."

X and Arthur looked at each other.

"I am at your MERCY."


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