A pet shop is a magical place where you can buy domestic animals or snakes. It is not a foodstore. Inside the best pet shops you will find an enormous collection of fantastic creatures which can easily be adapted to home life with young children and not fried, grilled, baked or frozen. This, however, poses problems of its own, because domestic animals have notoriously shorter life spans that the average child, and the drama which ensues following the death of Pinky the Albino Rat are something better to be avoided.

A good tip is to purchase an animal of a species where the differences in size, shape and colour are hard to notice between family members. That way, when Pinky I dies, you can tell your child that he is simply sleeping, and nip out to your pet shop for a conveniently similar Pinky II, and so on until your offspring is old enough to cope with the bereavement.

Alternatively you could just cook Pinky I and tell your children it is a real treat – spatchcock chicken.

Mmmmm.

Yum.

There's probably a reason why pet shops inspired the band Pet Shop Boys - but we don't want to know what that is.

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