Posted: 18^th December 2017

Deck the h2g2

Molly the Editorial Assistant Kitty is ready for Christmas. She's sitting on the organ, hoping the Editor will leave it alone. For a couple of weeks now, the Post Office kittehs have been giving me the stink eye, due to overindulgence in organ practice. Lola the Doglet wants to go for a walk the minute she hears that Leslie speaker start up. We think it's the Bagpipe Effect. One reason for the practice is the upcoming Christmas carol party at our house. There will be cider, snacks, and lots of music. Organ and piano duets are planned, and the youngest Hoggett has promised to bring his tuba. . . Don't you make lots of music during the holidays? Or at least sing the traditional 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer'?

Anyhow, the resident animals can rest easy, because the Heavy Leslie recording sessions are now complete. So, to the delight of the Daydream Journal folks, and the disgust (probably) of all h2g2 music lovers elsewhere, here is the Post Christmas card for 2017, with link to the Heavy Leslie Christmas Album. Click at your peril: cheesy organ music is an acquired taste.

What is this 'Heavy Leslie' business? Well, you'll remember that a few weeks ago, Freewayriding blessed us with a hilarious short story called 'Bexhill Bluegrass', in which the Editor's alter ego in a parallel (or maybe wavy) universe somehow became the hottest thing since Black Sabbath thanks to the mysterious Man from Delaware. Go on, make mock, said I. Okay, I will, said he, and promptly wrote another short story. Which you can read in this issue. No universes were damaged in the making of these flights of fancy – which will be continued in an outburst of creative exuberance next week, when the whole fiction-writing collective takes on the topic of werewolves in a grab bag of tales. Another holiday tradition honoured: scary stories for Brits. This should be fun.

What else do we have for you this week? Let us enumerate the delights contained herein.

• Willem's got the cutest little duck you've ever seen. He's also got a Caption Challenge for you: can you suss out what the nyala's thinking? You and Dr Doolittle.
• Besides the fiction, we have Views from Here, wherever Here happened to be, in photo, essay, and anecdote form. Read, widen your horizons, and send us your personal Views.
• Awix will tell you why it's fun to sit in a cinema and watch immortal samurai hack at one another. We're sure Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged would find it interesting.
• There are quizzes. Bluebottle's back with more Isle of Wight talk, which we managed to bring you by defeating the filther. You wouldn't believe what it wouldn't let Bluebottle say. Peter Zenger¹, thou should'st be living at this hour. Good thing the filther can't see pictures: we'd have had trouble with last week's Picture Quiz, snigger, snigger.
• We help you write. Bluebottle helps you navigate h2g2 (he's handy like that). We try, however futilely, to make you laugh.

Driving Snow:They've been reporting that snow has been affecting the UK 'countrywide', with 'countrywide' meaning as it usually does 'London and the North' (unlike ‘National’, which just means ‘London’). Obviously it didn't snow on the Isle of Wight or where I work in Southampton so I had been saying that we didn't have any snow at all. However I must admit I now have to eat my words and take that back, as technically we did have some snow.

Obviously it hadn't fallen anywhere nearby, but the snow had settled on a freight train from up north somewhere that passed through Southampton taking cars on their journey to the docks for export overseas. But it still counts – it is real, genuine snow. So please see an exclusive photo of all the snow to have affected Southampton in the last week.

It's the most snow I've seen in years.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

• Colours of Wildlife:
  Dabchick
  

• h2g2 Caption Challenge:
  Nyah, Nyah, Nyala
  

• 
  December Create:
  The View from Here
  

• 
  The Man from Delaware
  steps on walnuts.
  

ENTERTAINING THE BRAIN

• 24 Lies a Second

Go to the cinema. It's warm.

• The Post Quiz

Month to remember.

• Picture Quiz

Christmas 'first'.
A blast from the past.

• Black and Wight

V for Victory
over filther.

PICTURE THIS

• Look, No Hands!
  

• Name That Pareidolia
  

• Festive Red Lorry
  

• Holiday Awkwardness
  

• Gheorgheniplex

NASA and the Killer Robots.

• Art History 101

Top Chef, 1851.

• Writing Right
  with Dmitri

In-joking.

• h2g2 Literary
  Corner

Nosy neighbours.

• The View from
  Here…and Here…
  

• Behind the Headlines:
  Mellow Yellow Summer
  

• Create December

Winter viewpoint.

• Bluebottle Update

Hiking through h2g2.

• 
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